Living with Covid-19

It's been 2 years 5 months (885 days) since the first Covid-19 case in UK and today 2nd July 2022 I have been struck with the Virus. This is how it has changed my life...

Living in fear

Being fully vaccinated and booster taken I felt safe until my late mother passed away from Covid-19 with also being double vaccinated and lead a reasonably healthy lifestyle.

Ever since then it dawned on me that it is unknown what Covid-19 will do to each and every individual as each case seems to be so different.

We have been through multiple lock downs and now with things getting back to normal as in restrictions lifted and the world living with Covid-19 I have still been wearing my mask in public places, sanitizing my hands and my desk at work. I kept up with this but as cautious as I have been, it can't be helped if it has been brought home by other members of the family.

Day 1 - Started with a sore throat

Woke up around 8am feeling disorientated I had a serving of salad and sipped on a healthy spinach, ginger,lemon smoothie to soothe the throat. I find out that my sister in law got admitted into hospital for Covid today so I am feeling scared.

Second day running with that dreaded faint second line on the lateral flow test which started off with a sore throat quickly developed into chills and aches by the evening.

I spent nearly the entire day in bed with a fever over night.

Day 2 - aches and fever

Again, woke up feeling disorientated with a really sore throat. I can only describe it as though I was swallowing glass; every time I swallowed or took a deep breath the pain was immense.

I didn't eat anything this day and again just sipped on a green smoothie. We had been away for the weekend and was driving back to London today. The journey was quiet as I couldn't cope with the pain from trying to talk.

As soon as I got home i went straight to bed, it was better to sleep than be awake and deal with the pain

Day 3 - Thinking about my late mother

Took a sick day today, again I was in bed for most of the day feeling aches and chills again. Hot and cold flushes. Comparing my symptoms with my other siblings from when they had it, all of our symptoms have been different. Some lost their taste, some suffered severe headaches, some felt like the flu, but I am having this really sore throat.

2 days with no food I am feeling rather weak. It was at this moment I really missed my mum. She would always cook me congee when I was sick.

I forced myself up and made myself some kimchi congee hoping the fermented kimchi would do some good with all that ginger and garlic. I couldn't taste much and I don't know if its because the congee was bland or if I had lost my taste?

I can't help but think about how my mum was feeling the days leading up to her death. She probably wasn't scared, or at least I hope she wasn't. she probably thought she'd pull through being double vaccinated and reasonably healthy. With this in mind I can't help but get scared; what if I make a turn for the worse?

Day 4 - Feeling fed up, sensitive and emotional

I managed to log in to do some urgent work but I am still unable to talk and still eating soft food only. I made myself a Huel hot and savory and I could definitely taste that so my taste buds are still okay I guess.

Lungs are hurting though.

Today I have been thinking about Confucius; he is known as the first teacher in China who wanted to make education broadly available and who was instrumental in establishing the art of teaching as a vocation. He also established ethical, moral, and social standards that formed the basis of a way of life known as Confucianism. Mum and dad brought us up with a lot of his teachings and philosophies embedded in our bones. One of the ones that sticks with me the most is filial piety and every time I think about my parents passing away at ages 64 and 65 I feel so sorry. So sorry that I couldn't do more for them to give back all that love they gave to me.

That leads me onto my next thought. It's been 18 months since my father passed away and 8 months since my mother. 8 months I have not socialised or caught up with any friends. Every time at work when my colleagues talk about their families, their parents it really hurts me inside. Talking about parents have been a sensitive topic for me since becoming an orphan but right now during my covid symptoms i feel especially sensitive. I have shut myself off from the rest of the world and I rather not deal with it. Just waiting for my time to come.

My Siblings all have their own families, of course they care but no one will care for you as much as your parents would. I am feeling really emotional right now longing for my parents embrace. Until we meet again I will look after myself.

Having Covid-19 has changed me, I even looked over my Will today to see if anything needed updating. We don't know what will happen tomorrow but I do believe that our paths have been laid out for us. What path will we choose? Whatever we choose, lets be prepared and embrace it.

This is the end of the post and hopefully I make a speedy recover.