Today is the 10th January 2022, it is my Birthday. My first birthday without my parents. I am still in the 100 days mourning period, so Birthday celebrations are prohibited. Birthdays will never be the same without my parents and I have decided to spend every Birthday visiting my parents grave.
The word "Orphan" always felt like a sad word to me.
What does orphan mean in the dictionary?
noun. A child who has lost both parents through death
I know I have my siblings, my friends. But the bond between my parents and I was different. A bond and feeling that is irreplaceable. I always found great comfort in my parents presence. It's been just over a year since losing my dad, and 10 weeks since losing my mum and I think about them everyday.
Red Egg on my Birthdays
Growing up, my mum would boil me an egg and use red food coloring to colour the shell. The color red symbolizes prosperity and good fortune to the Chinese.
My mum stopped making these eggs as soon as we became teenagers but today how I wish I could have my mum make it for me one last time...
Why celebrate?
The day my mum gave birth to me, she probably went through so much pain. Every birthday I spent with my parents was a blessing and a reminder that I should always respect, love and take care of my parents.
Today I feel sad and empty. I have no parents alive to celebrate with and nor do I want to celebrate with anyone else. So here I decided that every Birthday I will visit my parents grave, and share some food and drink with them.
My friends remind me that I am not alone by sending me some love in the post...
Monday 10th January 2022 Gregorian Calendar / 8th December Lunar Calendar
Like 19 years ago my Gregorian birthday and Lunar Birthday fall on the exact same day. Today is Lunar calendar 8th December- The Laba festival and the 10th January Gregorian Calendar.
Laba Festival (Chinese: 臘八節) is a traditional Chinese holiday celebrated on the eighth day of the La Month (or Layue 臘月), the twelfth month of the Lunar calendar.
The Laba Festival had not been on a fixed day until the Southern and Northern dynasties, when it was influenced by Buddhism and was fixed to the eighth day of twelfth month, which was also the enlightenment day of the Buddha. Therefore, many customs of the Laba Festival are related to Buddhism. It corresponds directly to the Japanese Rohatsu and the South Asian Bodhi Day.
On this day it is customary to eat Laba congee (8 treasure congee/rice pudding)
Because today is also Laba Festival, I also prepared some eight treasure congee to serve at their altar at home for lunch along with some steamed baos, cake and cheung fun steamed rice roll. Dad gets chili sauce on his as he likes spice.
Growing up, my parents never failed to throw us a Birthday party. Our childhood parties would always consist of the following items: Mallow biscuits, iced gems, smarties, party rings, cake and fruit. So I prepared something similar to take to the grave. Red wine for dad and Capri sun for mum.
I visited with my second youngest sister and we set up our camping chairs by the grave side and enjoyed our laba congee with mum and dad as we reminisced.
The 4 of us had been on a few family trips together so we share a lot of memories. Sitting there by their graveside we found some sense of comfort and we felt like we could sit there for hours.
DNA test results
We had both taken a DNA test about 5 weeks a go and whilst my sister got her results back a couple days a go I was eager for mine, after all siblings only share 50% of their DNA, so I was eager to view what my DNA was made up of.
In the evening we went back to our family home and made a vegetable curry with paratha and shared with mum and dad at the altar.
It was now 8:55pm and my sister was getting ready to go home when she logged into her 23andMe app and noticed my DNA result was ready. I went to check my email and there it was...
My DNA report was ready. I will create a separate post about it when my siblings get their results back as I don't want to spoil it for them. We purchased another 3 kits for our other two sisters and brother which they only sent off last week.
Receiving my DNA report back today on my Birthday was really special for me. It was emotional to view my report looking at the DNA my parents had given to me. My results surely will update once my brother gets his results back as he will carry Y chromosomes from our Dad. I look forward to reviewing all of our results and embark on my new journey to discover our family history.
View my DNA results click here
It sounds like such a special day Kenny, thank you for sharing with us xxx HBD